Groom Groove

A website exclusively dedicated to all things wedding...for the groom: Groom Groove

Martha Stewart's Grooms Guide

The folks over at Martha Stewart have put together a quick Groom 101 post on their website, that is short and informative. You future wife is probably pouring over Martha Stewart Wedding as you read this, so you may as well find out what Martha is telling her you should be doing!

Image from marthastewart.com

Choosing a Tuxedo: Lapels

One consideration in choosing a tuxedo is what shape lapel is most fashionable and suitable to your frame. The shawl collar lapel is somewhat old-fashion, but still a classic. This style is a good choice for a man who wants something a little different, but still traditional. The peak lapel and notch lapel are far more common. The peak lapel is best suited to men with a slender frame who want to look a bit broader through the chest. If you have a broad build I would not recommend it. Finally, the notch lapel is universally flattering, and the most common lapel seen on tuxedos today.
This month's issue of Details has a spread on "summer black tie." They have some excellent tips, but they also condone some styling that I think is a little beyond the average man. For example, I would not recommend a colored or khaki tuxedo (hello 1970). Otherwise they have some excellent tips!

Images from men.style.com and garfieldminusgarfield.tumblr.com

How to tie bowties and neckties

Margot from Ralph Lauren Rugby emailed me today to let me know their spring line has been released. She also included a link to Rugby's youtube website which has absolutely perfect videos providing instructions for how to tie a four in hand knot and how to tie a bow tie. As a woman who's husband was late to the church on her wedding day because he could not tie his bowtie I appreciated the how to tie a bowtie video a great deal:

A step by step guide on how to tie a four in hand knot:

A step by step guide on how to tie a bowtie:

Groom's Guide: The bridal party and what to wear

• You get to pick your groomsmen! You get to pick your best man! You get to pick what you wear! You get to pick what your “entourage” wears! These things should be done in consultation with your bride-to-be, but you get the final say.
• Consider letting your groomsmen wear their own suits to the wedding. Everyone looks better in their own suit that in a rented tux, it also saves money. Coordinate them by requesting they all wear the same color suit and shirt, with a tie and pocket square or boutonniere of you choice.
• For heavens sake, let your groomsmen wear their own shoes!! There are few things grosser than rented shoes. If anyone is going to notice that your groomsmen are not wearing matching patent leather shoes with 1 inch rubber lifts, it will only be in a good way.
• If you choose tuxes, your wedding should be 6 pm or later. If you foresee wearing a tux more than four times in the next 2-3 years, it might be worthwhile to buy one. You should be aware that while you might own a tux, some brides will not let you wear it in their wedding as they feel everyone must “match” like a little army .

Lucky handkerchiefs

Check out these hand embroidered handkerchiefs from knittergirl on etsy. I think the horse shoe motif would be a perfect good luck charm for a groom or a day at the races, while the dice could add some flair to a crazy weekend in Vegas.

Image from etsy

Groom's Guide: The bare essentials of your responsibilities

• The groom traditionally pays all fees associated with the church ceremony and the marriage license.
• The groom’s parents traditionally host the rehearsal dinner. This is sent as a separate invitation from your wedding invitation.
• In some areas, the groom’s family pays for the alcohol at the reception
• You are responsible for all reservations and fees starting at the end of the reception. This means you rent the car that gets your hotel on your wedding night and you reserve said hotel room.
• You pay for the honeymoon.
• You pay for her wedding band (in addition to the engagement ring) and she pays for your wedding band
• You choose and arrange the attire of the groomsmen, this includes choosing a rental shop if you decide to go with tuxedos. Please do this in a timely fashion!
• You pay attention to the details of your wedding and show interest in attending tasting, dance lessons, etc. You are grateful that you have to devote 1/5 of the time you fiancée does to planning this soiree, and you shower her with complements and flowers accordingly.
• Your most difficult task, and oft shirked responsibility, is to attempt to keep your bride-to-be’s expectations in check. She may find that Martha Stewart Wedding displayed the PERFECT exotic bouquet for your wedding. Unfortunately, your/her last name is not Rockefeller and the flowers would have to be flown in from New Zealand and would therefore cost more than all of the groomsmen’s tuxedos combined. She might think it is ok to ask your hipster best friend to cut off his mullet because it will ruin her wedding pictures. You have to say NO! You might be yelled at, but take it like a man! Perfectly normal, rational women exhibit highly irrational behavior when planning a wedding. I should know- I’ve been there! It is your job to try to combat the bridal brainwashing your future wife has undergone, in some cases you will be the only one who can.

Cocktail Hour: Classic Champaign Cocktail

Spice things up a bit the next time you have left over champaign and try out a classic champaign cocktail. Champaign makes a great base for mixed drinks, simply adding fruit purees can produce an entirely new drink! The classic champaign cocktail, however, is a cocktail of sophistication and glamor...just watch Casablanca.

The base:
One sugar cube in the bottom of glass and cognac is poured into the glass (about an ounce, the amount can vary with your preference). The glass is topped off with champaign.

Variations:

• The sugar cube is somewhat optional, but adds to the fun. It is kind of a pain to clean out of the bottom of the glass in the end.

Image from stepmothersmilk.com

Groom's Guide: After the proposal

Only you can help avert confrontation between the two most important women in your life

• After the proposal your parents should call her parents to congratulate them. If your parents want to pay for a significant portion of the wedding, they can let the bride’s family know at this time, or as soon as possible, so that they can plan their wedding budget accordingly. Unless you are paying for the wedding, you should encourage your parents talk directly to each other about sharing the financial responsibility for the wedding, adding a middle man usually results in confusion.

• Many people loose sight of the fact that the wedding reception is a party hosted by the parents of the bride, as such the parents of the bride are entitled to make many of the decisions. Further more, as hosts they are listed on invitations as the host of the wedding, this is why in most cases only the parents of the bride have their names on the wedding invite. Unless your parents are contributing significantly to the cost of the wedding they cannot expect to have their names on the wedding invitation, unless you are Jewish or have another a religious/cultural tradition that includes the names of both sets of parents on the invite.

• Post proposal encourage open lines of communication between you family and your fiancées family. You will forget things, things will get lost in translation, your fiancée or family will expect you to be a mind reader. It is much easier if you mother talks directly to her mother about what color dress she should be wearing to the wedding.

• Take some dance lessons, knowing classic partner dances is a good idea anyway. It will also make your fiancée happy, so take this one for the team…with no whining…she has enough wedding crap to deal with already.

Groom's Guide: A few points for proposing

• You should ask her parents before proposing. You are never going to cause offense by asking, but there is a good chance that you will offend her parents if you do not ask. While traditionally, you talk to her father about proposing, many mothers would also enjoy being included.
• Try to find out if your girlfriend has definite ideas about THE RING. It is possible she wants to pick it out, or that her grandmother will be passing down her ring to the two of you. Don’t be offended if she wants to get the you chose reset, even after ten years of marriage most men are not able to pick out jewelry that thief wife really loves.
• A proposal should be a private affair, a special moment that you will remember forever, shared between you and your future spouse. In the spirit of this, you should favor an intimate proposal over a splashy public proposal, which means no sporting areas, no TV shows and no family reunions. One of my friends was proposed to in her living room after a quite dinner out at a local restaurant. Although he had the ring, her fiancé did not plan to pop the question that night, but they were having such a lovely time is decided he wanted to propose to her on the spot and spend the rest of his life enjoying such nights.

a possible exception to the public proposal rule is college athletes and their cheerleader girlfriends

• Don’t hide the ring! Especially don’t hide the ring in something that can be eaten or easily thrown away!
• Get down on one knee…it is a sweet gesture.
• Be flexible, it is unlikely things will go completely to plan. The waiter interrupted my husband mid proposal (he was nervous and forgot to kneel), but that did not ruin the surprise and perfection of the moment when I saw that he was giving me my Grandmother’s engagement ring. Another friend wanted to propose on a bridge over a local lake at sunset. In his excitement he got to the lake too early, and made his fiancé walk all the way around the lake before proposing. He spent the next three miles being extremely nervous. When he finally popped the question, his sweaty fiancée said “Are you serious?” Probably not the fairytale he was imagining, but it is kind of funny and definitely memorable.

Images from weddings.lovetoknow.com and tiffany