Welcome to
The Charming Dandy
a blog written by a
woman for men
dedicated to style,
culture and etiquette.


Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Waxing, is it worth it?

Body Hair. In America women are expected to remove all signs of hair from their bodies, save their heads and their arms. Traditionally, men have not had to worry about hair removal, but that appears to be changing. Most young male actors these days seem to have cut, hairless chests and abdomens. I can pretty much guarantee you that those boys wax or have the hair lasered off. Do women expect you to be similarly hairless? It probably depends on the woman, the area of the country that you live in and your physique. Here are a few general guidelines for male hair removal:
  • Leg, arm and armpit hair should be left alone, unless you are an elite athlete who shaves for sport. Women who prefer hairless legs and arms are the exception, not the rule.
  • Chest hair preference definitely varies amongst the general population, with some women preferring hairy and others preferring hairless. You are generally safe leaving it alone. If you are in great shape, a hairless chest will accent all of you hard work, but if you have a beer belly it is pretty pointless to remove the hair from your chest.
  • It is usually a good idea to remove back hair, unfortunately you have to rely on someone else to effectively remove all of it. Waxing and laser are probably your best options. Most women will not make that big a deal out of back hair, but they will appreciate the extra effort, especially if you are going to the beach.
  • Beards and mustaches are a matter of personal preference, most women do not find "chin straps," "soul patches" and patchy beards appealing.
  • Anything covered by a pair of boxers is your own business, but a trim now and then is never a bad idea. Shaving/waxing is unnecessary, not to mention cruelly painful.
Here are your hair removal options:
  • Shaving...this is the easiest option because you have all the equipment necessary and use it on a daily basis.
  • Hair removing cream (like Nair) is smelly and I've found varies in it's efficiency.
  • At home waxing or sugaring is not recommended, unless carried out by an experienced individual.
  • Salon waxing is the most efficient form of hair removal. Don't be embarrassed, you probably know many girls who strip nude and get Brazilians...your hairy back is not the most unpleasant thing the woman at the salon has had to wax that day. Don't forget to tip your waxer.
  • Laser and electrolysis are expensive and time intensive. The results are not guaranteed, but should be very long term. These procedures are considered medical procedures, tipping is not required, but is always appreciated.
Image from bbc.co.uk

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Lucky handkerchiefs


Check out these hand embroidered handkerchiefs from knittergirl on etsy. I think the horse shoe motif would be a perfect good luck charm for a groom or a day at the races, while the dice could add some flair to a crazy weekend in Vegas.

Image from etsy

Friday, February 15, 2008

Choosing a watch: basics

watch1

Mechanical movement vs Quartz movement

Mechanical movement watches must be wound, or if they are “automatic” they will self wind via a weight that swings with the movement of your body. If you are not attentive to winding and wearing a mechanical watch it will not keep good time. You can buy special watch boxes that revolve, essentially charging the watch for you. Mechanical movement watches never need batteries and are usually more valuable.

Quartz movement relies on a battery to operate. These watches are usually more accurate, and can be left on your dresser for months and months before the battery runs out and the watch stops keeping time. Quartz movement is seen as less sophisticated by watch connoisseurs, but ultimately it is more reliable and less expensive than mechanical movement.

Digital watches

If you really care about your appearance, digital watches are only acceptable to keep time when exercising or when worn by someone under the age of 12. I guess I’ll give residents of the international space station a pass as well.

The watch crystal (ie the watch face)

It is a bit embarrassing, but I was a confused by the term watch crystal before I began to research watches for myself. I always assumed the watch crystal had something to do with “quartz movement.” As it turns out the watch crystal is the hard, clear covering that protects the face of your watch from the elements. There are three types of watch crystal, from cheapest to most expensive: acrylic (plastic), mineral crystal (glass), and sapphire crystal. As you move up the price scale you get increasing durability and ability to withstand scratching.

braclet

The bracelet (wrist band)

Leather is always a classic choice, if you cannot afford a brown leather strap and a black leather strap it is permissible to wear the one color you can afford all the time. Often the price of leather or exotic skins (lizard, ostrich) runs the same, or even more, than a metal bracelet. While skins don’t have the durability of a metal bracelet, they are worth the investment for the classic look and the visual interest they add to your wrist. Skins are also less flashy than metal bracelets. I prefer the look of a skin bracelet for day, and a metal bracelet for evening.

Bejeweled watches

Bejeweled watches are best left for formal occasions by men or women past their teens. If worn on a day to day basis a watch adorned with diamonds, or other precious stones, is ostentatious and should therefore be avoided. Similarly, a bejeweled watch worn by a teenager reflects poorly on their over indulgent parent. Perhaps if one works in the rap industry it is permissible to wear diamond encrusted watches during the day time, but really understated sophistication is almost universally admired over blatant display of wealth.

eatch

Chronometer vs Chronograph

A chronometer is an extremely accurate watch and a chronograph is a watch outfitted with a stopwatch function. A chronometer is very expensive and must be certified. A chronograph can be purchased quite cheaply. Sometimes more is just more; unless you have some daily need for a stopwatch I would avoid bulky, overly complicated chronographs outside of sporting activities.

Images from professionalwatches.com, .findwatches.co.uk, professionalwatches.com, yorktime.com, ernestjones.co.uk, squidoo.com, christopherwardlondon.com, chadthewatchguy.com

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Groom's Guide: The bare essentials of your responsibilities

fundingwedding
  • The groom traditionally pays all fees associated with the church ceremony and the marriage license.
  • The groom’s parents traditionally host the rehearsal dinner. This is sent as a separate invitation from your wedding invitation.
  • In some areas, the groom’s family pays for the alcohol at the reception
  • You are responsible for all reservations and fees starting at the end of the reception. This means you rent the car that gets your hotel on your wedding night and you reserve said hotel room.
  • You pay for the honeymoon.
  • You pay for her wedding band (in addition to the engagement ring) and she pays for your wedding band
  • You choose and arrange the attire of the groomsmen, this includes choosing a rental shop if you decide to go with tuxedos. Please do this in a timely fashion!
  • You pay attention to the details of your wedding and show interest in attending tasting, dance lessons, etc. You are grateful that you have to devote 1/5 of the time you fiancée does to planning this soiree, and you shower her with complements and flowers accordingly.
  • Your most difficult task, and oft shirked responsibility, is to attempt to keep your bride-to-be’s expectations in check. She may find that Martha Stewart Wedding displayed the PERFECT exotic bouquet for your wedding. Unfortunately, your/her last name is not Rockefeller and the flowers would have to be flown in from New Zealand and would therefore cost more than all of the groomsmen’s tuxedos combined. She might think it is ok to ask your hipster best friend to cut off his mullet because it will ruin her wedding pictures. You have to say NO! You might be yelled at, but take it like a man! Perfectly normal, rational women exhibit highly irrational behavior when planning a wedding. I should know- I’ve been there! It is your job to try to combat the bridal brainwashing your future wife has undergone, in some cases you will be the only one who can.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Business casual: avoid this shoe faux pas

shoes
Be advised: black leather tennis shoes are not appropriate for business casual or formal dress. Frankly, few, if any, men are able to successfully wear black leather tennis shoes. I would recommend avoiding this look entirely.

Images from shoebuy and jdsports

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Cocktail Hour: Classic Champaign Cocktail

Spice things up a bit the next time you have left over champaign and try out a classic champaign cocktail. Champaign makes a great base for mixed drinks, simply adding fruit purees can produce an entirely new drink! The classic champaign cocktail, however, is a cocktail of sophistication and glamor...just watch Casablanca.

The base:

One sugar cube in the bottom of glass and cognac is poured into the glass (about an ounce, the amount can vary with your preference). The glass is topped off with champaign.

Variations:
  • The sugar cube is somewhat optional, but adds to the fun. It is kind of a pain to clean out of the bottom of the glass in the end.
Image from stepmothersmilk.com

Monday, February 4, 2008

Groom's Guide: After the proposal

motherinelaw
Only you can help avert confrontation between the two most important women in your life

  • After the proposal your parents should call her parents to congratulate them. If your parents want to pay for a significant portion of the wedding, they can let the bride’s family know at this time, or as soon as possible, so that they can plan their wedding budget accordingly. Unless you are paying for the wedding, you should encourage your parents talk directly to each other about sharing the financial responsibility for the wedding, adding a middle man usually results in confusion.
  • Many people loose sight of the fact that the wedding reception is a party hosted by the parents of the bride, as such the parents of the bride are entitled to make many of the decisions. Further more, as hosts they are listed on invitations as the host of the wedding, this is why in most cases only the parents of the bride have their names on the wedding invite. Unless your parents are contributing significantly to the cost of the wedding they cannot expect to have their names on the wedding invitation, unless you are Jewish or have another a religious/cultural tradition that includes the names of both sets of parents on the invite.
  • Post proposal encourage open lines of communication between you family and your fiancées family. You will forget things, things will get lost in translation, your fiancée or family will expect you to be a mind reader. It is much easier if you mother talks directly to her mother about what color dress she should be wearing to the wedding.
  • Take some dance lessons, knowing classic partner dances is a good idea anyway. It will also make your fiancée happy, so take this one for the team…with no whining…she has enough wedding crap to deal with already.

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Most men should not wear hair gel

gel

With very few exceptions, men should not wear hair gel, because very few men are able to use gel with the light touch it requires. If used with restraint, hair gel can be a useful product. Hugh Grant almost achieves the proper look, but really hair gel should not be visible at all. Too much product yields a wet, crunchy look that is very unattractive.

Sylvester Stalone is a prime example of why this look is just plain wrong. Long or thinning hair almost very looks good with gel in it. To be honest most women would think all four of these movie stars were a bit greasy and over gelled in real life. There is nothing attractive about shellacked helmet head hair. You can't run your hands through it, it can't look wind swept, and it reminds most women of 90s boy bands...avoid this look.

Images on flickr